I frequently meet people who complain that their conversation is not engaging.
They start talking and in a few moments, they would notice the listener swiping the mobile phone or getting lost in her thought or they abruptly come up with an excuse to end the dialogue.
This is demoralizing for the speaker. Does this happen with you too?
I worked with Ross Jeffries who would often say: ‘The biggest mistake people make while persuading is getting too specific too soon.’
Many people take pride in talking to the point, but that is not the best thing to do if you want to engage people deeply.
To engage them you would have to make them think, wonder and imagine and this is how you can start:
Ask Vision Questions: These are the questions that create a vision that is inspiring. It submerges them in the world of possibilities. Here are a few examples:
What will happen if we complete this project successfully?
What would you do if you make an extra $10k every month?
Could you paint a picture of your perfect life?
Where would you fit in if the company grows 10x?
If you have a choice, how would you like to spend your days?
These questions will activate their thinking and take them to the world of possibilities.
Use Curiosity Phrases: Before you reveal any important information, create suspense, and let them make a guess. For that use phrases like:
I have got something to share that would blow your mind.
Once you hear this, you are going to thank me forever.
If I tell you what happened that day, you would regret not coming to the meeting.
…then something happened that changed my perspective forever.
I haven’t shared it with anybody, but I feel you deserve to be the first to know this.
One thing that you may not be knowing about me is…
Give compliments and seek information about it: Mostly you would find yourself judging and evaluating the listener. Take a pause and look for something to compliment.
Offering a compliment could be uncomfortable for you. You may think
‘What if he doesn’t reciprocate?’
‘Does it really matter?’
‘How will this help?’
‘He may think I’m creepy.’
Still compliment and follow up with an inquiry. For example:
‘You remind me of Tom Cruise. How did you manage to have such a body?’
‘I like your curiosity, how do you manage to come up with such brilliant questions?’
‘Your sense of humor is commendable… how did you develop this?
Here is a thumb rule to follow for engagement: Think about how can you get them thinking.
Change your game!
Vivek