Executive coaching helps leaders look at the situation objectively and empowers them to make decisions consciously. ‘It’s lonely at the top’ is commonly heard in leadership circles because most leaders find nobody to share their doubts and dilemma. Their spouses may not understand the complexity of business, they do not feel safe sharing their vulnerabilities with colleagues, they fear losing control if they share with subordinates and keep wondering how to deal with difficult situations. What they look for is a safe space to share, where they do not fear judgment and get an opportunity to view their matters from multiple standpoints. They seek a sounding board to bounce their ideas and get independent feedback which widens their perspective and narrows the options while making a decision.
Today, the business scenario is more dynamic than ever causing overwhelming stress to the people in leadership positions. Very often they feel disoriented and anxious. The presence of an executive coach not only helps them with sharing which eases their stress but they also get clarity of context. Besides understanding what truly matters to them, they also get to know the ‘why’ behind it. Whenever the context is lost, the coach recreates it and puts the executive on a journey of fast-track success. Most of my clients share they never got the space for uninhibited sharing in their life like they experienced in coaching.
Another reason business leaders trust a coach is the absence of interest. Most people close to you, be it a family member or a colleague, have some kind of interest in you. Your spouse may be depending financially, socially and emotionally. Your boardroom coworkers would have a stake in the company’s success that you manage and the colleagues would need approvals, permissions and guidance and they would not like their equation to go wrong with you. Plus, today we live in a society where nobody likes to take the risk of telling the truth as we fear, that might upset the person and disturb our social equation.
In an executive coaching conversation, you are shown a mirror to see your own self in a new light. Your values, beliefs and stances are questioned. Your views are challenged so that you could see the bigger picture that you could have missed earlier. The conversations are ‘naked.’ Your blind spots are highlighted. Opportunities for growth are shown to you so that you create a life of possibilities that you desire.
Executive Coaching is not Psychology
Psychology is about the past and coaching is about the future. While working with a psychologist, you would notice she frequently scratches your past so that the best advice is offered to you. She usually counsels you and advises to take the right actions. She is seen as an expert who has a solution to your problems.
In coaching, it’s believed that nobody else but you yourself can find the answers to the questions. The way you can see and understand your life situations, it is impossible for others to do so. Therefore, a coach creates an environment of trust and safety where you feel comfortable sharing your mind without fear. This is a place where you can afford to be completely vulnerable without any consequence. As you share, you are able to connect the dots and develop new insights. These conversations are oriented towards future possibilities and are free from guilt and regrets. The interaction is reflective, not directive, unlike in psychology.
Executive Coaching is also not Training
Cambridge Dictionary defines training as ‘the process of learning the skills you need to do a particular job or activity.’ While training is about acquiring new skills, coaching is about making things work. You reflect on the matter at the deepest level and can point at the factors which are working as impediments and explore creative ways to find solutions. The trainer is usually seen as someone who has all the answers, while the coach is the person who doesn’t need to be knowing all the answers. His job is to listen, understand, and question in such a manner that you find the best possible resolution yourself. When this happens, you carry a deep sense of ownership and are more committed to acting.
Secondly, in coaching both coach and coachee operate from the same level. Nobody is inferior or superior. Equality facilitates better sharing opportunities.
Coaching vs. Mentoring
Merriam Webster defines a mentor as a trusted counselor or guide.
Usually, a mentor is a person who is more experienced and wise and she is likely to have an interest in the well-being and development of the mentee. The most distinct factor to differentiate between coaching and mentoring is the process. Mentoring is directive and coaching is non-directive. While mentoring, the mentor is likely to speak more. In coaching apt questions are posed for reflection and development of insight. Mentoring is development-focused and usually less structured while coaching is performance-driven and result-oriented. The easiest way to understand coaching is to look at your favorite sports team coach.
Through mentoring, training, and psychological counseling are different domains, it’s quite common for a coach to slip into other roles for optimal results during the engagement.
If you are considering an executive coaching engagement keep the following in mind:
- Coaching works best when you have a goal or intention. If you start an engagement without a goal, there are high chances you would be feeling lost in a few weeks down the line.
- Chemistry plays a very important role in coaching. You would need to completely trust the coach. So, before you commit to coaching speak to your coach, share your concerns openly, see how well you feel understood, and observe what kind of chemistry you share.
- The journey to growth is never easy. Here, be ready to be questioned and challenged often. Be open to feedback and sharing your mind. If you resist feedback and argue to prove your point of view, the journey of growth will be slow.
- Have a realistic expectation. The results vary from person to person. Everyone has a unique pace and personality. Don’t compare yourself with others and stay committed.
- Be completely transparent. If you feel something is not working, bring that to your coaches’ notice. A professional coach would never get offended and would rather appreciate your candor.
Over the last five years, I have worked with many coaches and continue to work with two of them. Coaching at every level has upped my game and shown light when I was stuck in darkness. This has been the best investment in my life.
The journey to learning and growth is never-ending. The deeper you go, the more you crave for.
Change your game!
Vivek
Tags: Leadership Coaching, Executive Coaching, Leadership Development, Life Coach, Mentor, Coaching in Difficult Times